Log: -501st

Untitled Because I Can't Think Of Anything For It

2011-05-30T22:10:00.003+08:00

Apparently, I guess this is the only place I can post at the moment.
Thank God for Blogger being dead...
<_<

I have no idea where to go now. I can't even type properly without thinking, and yes, that is bad...

Typing is pretty much a natural as breathing so not typing is pretty much not breathing?
Meh I can't really think straight either.

Worst holiday by far though. And it's only been 3 days. A whole week left to go.

I just wished you listened to me once. As not humble or disrespectful I may be, I still do those little things just to make sure you don't screw up in anything. You have no idea how much you mean to me Caprica. And fuck if it annoys you that much, tell me. I'm pretty much influenced by you so whatever you do, it will affect me. Which is why I'm so bothered about you doing it in front of me. I'm sorry but that's just the way I am. I gave you space when you asked for it, didn't I? ='

Well, it's a new year...

2010-01-01T01:40:00.001+08:00

And a new Decade, more over. o_O

2010, looking forward to it, cause 2009 sucked hard...

>_>
<_<

I lost a bet with my dad... @_@

2009-12-24T01:29:00.002+08:00

So I was at this pizza shop in PJ called Yellow Cab, I think. o_O Yeah, anyways, me, mom, dad and my lil' sister was waiting for the pizza outside and then this guy who sells cupcakes comes along. He went all, "Oh hi there little girl!" on another kid with her mom walking at the, walking, thingy, o_O and completely messed up the kid's mind to whine to her mom to get her a cupcake.

So yeah, and then my little sister being the nosy-brat she is saw that and was like, "Mummy! Lisa nak cupcake PLEEEEAAAASSEE!!" and so my mom took her there. And then since the guy was a bit closer, me and my dad heard him talk to my mom. I was thinking, "Gosh, is this guy a faggot?" because of the way he talks and suddenly my dad said, "Look, a faggot!"

Me: @_@ I was thinking the same thing... XD
Dad: Haha, yeah, well you know, just look at him... o_O
Me: I bet 10 bucks that he's gay. =D
Dad: >_>

*mom comes back*

Mom: Bla bla bla, his wife made the cupcakes.
Dad: HAH! WIFE! >:O) 10 bucks plz...
Me: *bangs head on table*
Mom: *eats cupcake* This is good... O_o
Dad: *eats a little* Hmm, nice...
Me: *bites* That faggot is gooood.... o_O
Mom and Dad: *laughs*

Chat

2009-12-02T01:14:00.004+08:00

So I'll edit this post tomorrow or something. Shut up, nothing personal, it's just about our first chat session via Myspace Comments around August or something...

======================================

Delta 38 says:

*So since you said "No prob. Thanks for adding : )" here

*I'm guessing I said something first

*Right?

Souraya says:

*Yeah

Delta 38 says:

*Well, paste here la

Souraya says:

*Hey, thanks for the approve...

Delta 38 says:

*@_@

*I wanna r-

*No prob. Thanks for adding :)

Souraya says:

*So where you from?

Delta 38 says:

*Sarawak :)

I moved here last year so yeah..

So how are we related? Are you Akid's classmate or something? Just wondering :)

Souraya says:

*I hang out with him, though we're in a different class cause we take a different course for KH. So yeah...

Moved there because of parents or something?

*WOW I REALLY LIKE SMILIES DONT I XD

Delta 38 says:

*Lol, I guess so, I thought you were trying to be friendly

*Anyways

*Oh. Yeah, parents.

But I didn't mind. It just ruined 9/10 of my life :)

Okay I'm kidding, it's not that bad.

Souraya says:

*A woman of sarcasm I see...

oh noez

Delta 38 says:

*What?? No! I'm not sarcastic at all.

I was justttt saying. And NOT even a woman... even though that's pretty obvious -.-

Souraya says:

*Well, how old are you?

Delta 38 says:

*Only 12 years old.

Old huh?

Souraya says:

*Cool, I'm a senior to you by 2 years...

Delta 38 says:

*Oh really? That's nice. Does that mean you're 14?

Souraya says:

Yeah. Soo, when's your UPSR exams? =]

Delta 38 says:

*Very. Very. Soon.

8th September oh.hooh.hoohohh. -.-

Souraya says:

*I just noticed, you don't appear online when you're online

Delta 38 says:

*Wow O_O

I was planning to anyway...

I can't wait to get over UPSR!

*Eh, that doesn't make sense

*o_O

Souraya says:

*Now whatever you do, don't study on the last minute.

<_<

Just rest a few days before the big day and during it. After that, knock your socks off and burn all your books (or you could throw it away to prevent air pollution) and get all the beer you can get. Celebrate at a BBQ party.

After that, you get 5 A's, just like moi...

Delta 38 says:

*Ahah, now I added in this...

*Wow O_O

I was planning to anyway...

I can't wait to get over UPSR!

*Okay, next one

*o_O

Souraya says:

*Yeah, I know that feeling. And then there's the day of the result. No matter if you said you won't be scared shitless, you WILL be scared shitless. EVERYONE will be scared shitless.

<_<

Seriously, I never expected to be that scared of the results. Then when my name got called up while they're still announcing the straight A's, I was frozen, took me a while to get off my seat and grab that paper thingy...

Ah, the good ol' days...

Delta 38 says:

*Well rub it in why don't you? xD

Souraya says:

*You can say that, haha...

Btw, can I have your phone number?

*==

Delta 38 says:

*I'm sorry, but I'm not using my phone. Alaa, understand je la... UPSR and stuff -_____-

*Lol, phone number

Souraya says:

*Ah, I get it. Poor you, next thing you know, you can't even listen to music anymore...

Delta 38 says:

*Oh, they can't do that. They can't move my comp from my room, but phones are portable and you can remove the sim cards. I have a phone, but no simcard (for now)... get it? :) And, I was never really a fan of phones... and never will be :D

Souraya says:

*They can remove the motherboard on the PC...

They can unplug the modem, they can block your Internet...

There are so much more ways to block you from using the computer than the phone...

Delta 38 says:

*My sister uses the computer ;)

And, even if they unplug anything from the comp, I'm kind of the computer genius of the family... and I do the best photoshopping. :)

Souraya says:

*=O

Delta 38 says:

*Lol

*True about the Photoshop thing

Souraya says:

*Did I say the true thing ?

*O_O

Delta 38 says:

*Wait, you mean I replied =O to you?

Souraya says:

*Yes

*==

Delta 38 says:

*Well, you said

Yeah. pop_rock_lover@hotmail.co

Add me if you do/want,

*I thought I asked for your e-mail

Souraya says:

*Oh

*You did

*=D

Delta 38 says:

*Yeah, what was it?

*o_O

Souraya says:

* Well, do you have MSN?

Delta 38 says:

*Yeah. pop_rock_lover@hotmail.co

Add me if you do/want,

Souraya says:

*And you nvr replied agn

Delta 38 says:

*Because I added you on MSN

*And here we are

*=D

Souraya says:

*Yes

*@__@

My keyboard is dying, day by day...

2009-11-21T21:43:00.002+08:00

Now, before anything this is my keyboard...

http://www.razerzone.com/gaming-keyboards/razer-tarantula/

Yup, the Razer Tarantula, bought it around 3 years ago I think. And it's awesome, even though it's being torn up by my insane finger dexterity... o_O

So at first, the writings on the keyboard get scrapped off. You can't even see the Dot (.) button and the Coma (,) button anymore. And I can't see I, M, half-of-Enter, half-of-Shift and O. Lol, H button is being defective too. I need to press it hard. M button just defected last week, but it's even more annoying since I have to press at EXACTLY the RIGHT side of the button. @_@

And the B button double types itself.

Oh and did I mention, my house is effed up too. It either double clicks, or doesn't click at all sometimes.

O_o

http://www.razerzone.com/gaming-mice/razer-krait/

Yup, another Razer product. I love Razer, heck my mouse pad is from Razer too. Now the mouse that I want, is this...

http://www.razerzone.com/gaming-mice/razer-mamba/

So....

Awesome....

@_@

So yeah, damnit, I think P double types now too....

T_T

'Twas a boring day....

2009-11-19T10:57:00.002+08:00

Seriously, there's nothing to do at all at home.

o_O

The PS3 is there, but the game isn't....

MODERN WARFARE 2

I need it back, damnit....

T.T

Traditional Grip kills my thumb...

2009-11-16T19:29:00.003+08:00

Yet, it's so much more fun to play using it. Especially on the rolls and Hi-hat parts.

@_@

Meat Loaf is a PERSON! =O I thought it was a band name, but, A GUY?! <_>

The Police are awesome, So Lonely....
=D

And I need to listen to more Rush...

<_<

And I must go to studio again, but I'll need to bring that damned smoker around cause he just WANTS to butt in on the jamming... >_>

2009-11-09T21:15:00.008+08:00

Hello humans that are pompom enough to read the so called awesome Arief Fuad's blog. Fairuzah here. Apparently I'm special and trustworthy enough to know his password =D Nehuzees, editing this conversation of us that we had tonight. For some reason he finds it funny. Maybe I'm not awesome enough to know why. Meh, just not in the joyful mood tonight. ALING! ogay, so enjoy~

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-bacj

-back*

Delta 38 says:

-Me too

-Maggi

-=D

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-NOOOOO

Delta 38 says:

-What?

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-i want... Maggi... T.T

Delta 38 says:

-Then go eat?

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-i just ate

Delta 38 says:

-Makan lagi. You need the extra boo- I mean, weight...

->_>

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-=.=

-do we have to wait for the school holidays? @_@

-i wanna go now...

-want...

-to...

-buy...

-DVD..

-*drool*

-PEIN AKATSUKI!

Delta 38 says:

-Download je r

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-i have alot of stuff in here =.=

Delta 38 says:

-External Hard Drive FTW

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-but Naruto is A LOT

Delta 38 says:

-http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=320GB+External+PC+Hard+Drive

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-coolie

-i see

-well i have 118GB

Delta 38 says:

*Do you not learn Maths? JEEZ!

Therefore, 320GB is larger and better (and sexier) than 118GB or some other shit

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-yeah, i know that

-just stating

Delta 38 says:

-Oh yeah? I got 8913749123749823GB

-Top that

-"Punk"

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-i need to poo

Delta 38 says:

-I'm FUCKING EATING

-JEEZ

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-back

-relief...

-sighs...

Delta 38 says:

-Oh my God

-I'M STILL FUCKING EATING!

-<_>

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/815/815975/naruto-kakashi_1188221145.jpg

-X] X] X]

Delta 38 says:

-I hate Naruto

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-http://www.naruto-wallpaper.net/images/4/662.jpg

Delta 38 says:

-I said I hate Naruto

-I ain't clicking both of those

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-this is not naruto

-it's Pein Akatsuki

Delta 38 says:

-IT THE WORD NARUTO IN IT!

-I MEANT I HATE EVERYTHING NARUTO RELATED! <_>

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-Pein is not related to Naruto

Delta 38 says:

-Then why is there the word Naruto in that link?

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-=.= nevermind you dont get it

Delta 38 says:

-Yes, I don't

-I AM SUCH A SIMPLE MINDED PERSON OH GREAT MASTER OYA SHMOYA

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-http://images.google.com.my/imgres?imgurl=http://www.glogster.com/media/2/2/98/71/2987173.jpg&imgrefurl=http://wolfthekilla.glogster.com/Pein-of-the-akatsuki/&usg=__gTdI_stloZzOS_5u1EQ58IFOV-g=&h=600&w=342&sz=19&hl=en&start=15&um=1&tbnid=ApUxilOslnD3wM:&tbnh=135&tbnw=77&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpein%2Bakatsuki%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dopera%26rls%3Den%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

-upss

-wrong convo

Delta 38 says:

-Oh, you're just doing that

-@_@

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-http://a3.vox.com/6a00cd972316874cd500e3989785c30001-500pi

-open the one i just gave you =D

Delta 38 says:

-I am NOT gonna click anymore links from you

->_>

A ChoKyuHyun fan says:

-http://a3.vox.com/6a00cd972316874cd500e3989785c30001-500pi

Delta 38 says:

->________________>

I'm Hungry... o_O

2009-11-02T18:43:00.003+08:00

Mind the title, cause I really am. I need to like a song from Muse's first album, gonna start my search soon.

O_o

Resistance is awesome... =O

United States of Eurasia sounds like a Queen song... o___O

The Exogenesis Trilogy Symphony is awesome, yet so long.... @___@

And I got a new phone...

=D

Though I don't know what the hell it is...

<_>

Guess that's it, just a short update, kthxbai

A-ow! A-ow!

2009-10-25T21:35:00.002+08:00

Come Out And Play

The Kid's Aren't Alright

Hammerhead

Gone Away

Self Esteem

Pretty Fly For A White Guy

Yes, those are songs by The Offspring. Such an awesome band which I know more songs from...

O_o

Give it to me baby, A-ow! A-ow!

. . . . .

Ok, I got nothing else...

My arm...

2009-10-19T19:11:00.004+08:00

Friggin' hurts, I drummed too much and this is what I get. I mean, 100% on 12 songs in a row, and the game isn't FRIGGIN' satisfied, it used it's force of whatever the shebang it has and did the kabooshi on my arm?!
<_>

So anyways, 12 songs I got 100% by order are:

Nine In The Afternoon- Panic At The Disco

Livin' On A Prayer- Bon Jovi

That's What You Get- Paramore

Any Way You Want It- Journey

PDA- Interpol

Chop Suey- System of a Down (1st time got an FC on it)

Come Out And Play- The Offspring

Creepin' The Backstairs- The Fratellis (1st time FC, and proud of it... XD)

Drain You- Nirvana

Almost Easy- Avenged Sevenfold (not an FC though, overhit once, still 100%)

Hungry Like The Wolf- Duran Duran (same as above... >_>)

Bad Reputation- Joan Jett (I blame the pain on this song... o_O)

Nad's House Was ****ing Awesome...

2009-10-19T00:47:00.003+08:00

The End, no doubt about it, seriously.

Baire vous~! @_@

2009-10-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

So...

It's been a while. We meet again, BLOG!

z0mG!1 ur attackin!

*shields self*

*blog attack me with rock*

*rock hits mah head*

K.O.

<_>

No really, I just wanted some 'coffee' sir...

2009-09-25T23:37:00.002+08:00

YES-A SIR! I will get-a you some tea-a?

No, no, I want COFFEE, please...

AH! Yes-a, I will get-a some more-a napkins, ya?

Ye- NO! COFFEE! You know, the black thing that looks like niggers?

Who you callin' nigger, bitch ass?

I- I didn't know you were there, apolo- *gets hit in the face*

AH! NOW I KNOW! You want some-a tortilla? Ya?

Yes, that was random, I had nothing to blog about so I just posted something random out the top of my head. Also, Dahlie isn't online...

Oh well, at least I got Dayang...

*insert MSN smiley here*

Lol, been only a month since I knew her. o_O

Karina's not online too...

>_>

<_<

So I guess that's it for now, see ya later...

You Know That Old Urban Legend?

2009-08-31T11:25:00.003+08:00

If you grew up in the country as I did, you’ve heard it. The one about some bridge or some location, usually in a valley and almost always near water, where something horrible supposedly happened to a mother and her baby, and at night if you are quiet you can hear a baby crying or a woman calling for her child? Yeah, that one. It’s a great excuse to take your girlfriend out to a dark secluded location, get her all scared and have her jump in your lap. When she feels all safe and secure, the panties come right off, right? Scary places always landed me the choice ass back in the day. Know what I mean bro?

Yeah well, I know what really happened, and I know the place where it occurred. You see, there’s this old bridge down in a valley that crosses a small river. It’s not far from here, If you want I can take you out there. Yeah, we can go tonight.

The legend usually says a mother was rushing her sick baby to the hospital and ran her car off the bridge. The story also goes that the mother got out of the car, but drowned after repeatedly trying to find her baby in the dark water. The next morning the police found the car and the two bodies after a farmer called the wreck in. Years later teenagers used to hang out in the fields on the north side of the bridge, and they told stories of hearing a woman screaming “Oh god MY BABY SOMEONE PLEASE HELP OH GOD MY BABY”. There are variations, but this is usually the gist of the tale. Well, the truth is, the valley was haunted a long time before anything like that ever happened, and it wasn’t haunted by some woman screaming for her lost baby. Not then at least.

You see, out in the country here, there’s things that never see the light of day. Things not meant for mortal eyes. They wander the countryside looking for food. They feed on humans you see. They wear the skin of their kills, look just like us. Once it’s on them you can’t tell them apart from us. What they look like under the skin, nobody alive now knows.

The woman in the story, she WAS rushing her baby to the hospital, and she did wreck, but she didn’t run off the bridge. She came close though, and she seemed to be in luck, as a truck came along just minutes after she ran off the road and smacked a tree. Her lights were still on, and the driver of the truck spotted her waving in the middle of the road. What happens next, well… it’s pretty horrible. You see the driver of the truck, well, he was one of those things, and he was wearing the previous owner’s skin. He pulls over, offers to help. The mother is on the verge of passin’ out, so he helps her get the baby out of the car. He found it impossible to resist the tender, sweet flesh of one so young. The smell of it’s innocence was too much, and its appetite overtook it. He ate the baby right there in front of the mother. Jaws split like some sort of horrible giant snake, bit it right in half, swallowed it in two bites. Right in front of that poor woman. That’s where the screams come from you see. Right before he ate her too. Of course, she didn’t die so quick, being a much bigger meal than a little baby.

The real horror of these things is, once they eat you, your soul or whatever, it doesn’t move on like it does after a normal death. It lingers, you see. How do I know all of this? Well, I grew up around here. My grandfather told me all about it. He was one of the cops that found the car, you see. He ran across one of those things here in town once. Said it looked like a person, just didn’t seem to move right. His grandmother was an old Indian wise woman, she told him stories of the skinwalkers when he was a child. Said he’d know when he met one.

So you want to see the place? It’s just a few miles from here. Yeah, hop in the truck, I’ll take you out there. She’s a beaut ain’t she? Belonged to my grandpa too, she’s a 55 Chevy. Restored it myself. Finish your drink, we’ll head out there.

Dob's Brief Time As A Student in Hogwarts

2009-08-29T15:38:00.000+08:00

DAY 1

[RON, HERMIONE, HARRY and Hogwarts' newest student, DOB, are seated at that big cafeteria or whatever, discussing this and that. DOB tells a story, smirking like an asshole.]

DOB
And then I says, “More like SHITerin!” Get it?

RON
Yes.

DOB
Because I took a shit in the sorting hat.

RON
I said yes.

DOB
And I said kiss dick, guy, I was talking to Hermione.

HERMIONE
It was a lovely joke.

DOB
Bam. Two points, Ron, count it.
[RON slumps in his chair.]

HARRY
I have a bad feeling about this year, guys. Something deep in the pit of my stomach.

HERMIONE
I know what you mean.

DOB
Yeah, totally. Say, by the way, Hermione, when you turnin’ 15, girl? That happening soon, or what?

RON
Fifteen is still illegal in this state. In all states, everywhere.

DOB
This fuckin- What is your problem, guy? Was someone talking to you? Christ, go eat that chocolate that turns people into rats or whatever.

HARRY
[Quietly]
That’s not this movie.

RON
You’re thinking of Witches.

DOB
Actually I’m thinking of eat shit, Beasley, what is your deal?

DAY 4

[HARRY is in his dorm room getting ready for the OBLIGATORY GAME OF POINTLESS QUIDDITCH. DOB is quietly planting HARD WIZARD DRUGS in RON'S DRESSER.]

HARRY
Alright, DOB, I’m about to head out to the big game. Are you sure you don’t want to play?

DOB
Nah. I’ma try to call Hermione so we can set up our own game of Quidditch, if you catch my boner.

HARRY
Right. See you later, then.

DOB
Yeah, man, go- Jesus. Is that how you’re going to dress?

HARRY
I… this is traditional wizard garb, for Quidditch, I thought-

DOB
Yeesh. Boo. It looks like a shitty community theater is staging a musical version of my nightmares and you’re auditioning for the female lead.

HARRY
I’m not sure I-

DOB
You look like the worst kind of lesbian.

HARRY
Got it.

DAY 9

[DUMBLEDORE, an old fellow with a long beard who constantly dresses in robes, has gathered a few of the students in his PRIVATE QUARTERS to tell them some SECRETS, which is probably a good idea in a movie/book that is aimed at LITTLE CHILDREN.]

HERMIONE
Dumbledore, it’s not fair.

DOB
Oh, hell yeah, you tell him, ‘Mione.

HARRY
It really is unfortunate, Dumbledore, is there nothing we can do?

HERMIONE
This is ruining all of my plans!

DUMBLEDORE
I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can do. We’re short staffed, so I’m afraid I can’t offer Potions as a course this year.

DOB
Is that what we’re all pissed about? This is the stupidest wizard camp ever.

HERMIONE
I’m certain that class would earn me high enough marks to make it to the top of the school.

DUMBLEDORE
It’s out of my hands! I’m afraid with our high level of mysterious murders, fewer and fewer teachers want to work here.

DOB
Yeah, that’ll do it.

HARRY
Could Snape double up on a class?

RON
Or couldn’t we cut one of the other courses?

HERMIONE
It’s because Professor Slughorn left. He could have taught this class. He was supposed to, wasn’t he?

DOB
Who’s Slughorn?

HARRY
We need Slughorn. We need to get him back.

DOB
Hey, guys, who’s Slughorn?

RON
Good luck with that. He’s gone off to live with the Muggles, he’s in hiding.

HARRY
But we can find him… With Dumbledore’s help!

DOB
Alright fuck you guys.

DUMBLEDORE
It can be done. I can track him down… Do you think you children could convince him to come back?

HARRY
I’m positive!

DOB
What an awesome plot for a movie about wizards.

DAY 14

[Our heroes are stuck on an island, surrounded by a bunch of little PALE GOBLINS OR SOMETHING.]

RON
This looks dangerous! What’ll we do, Harry?

HARRY
Our magic is blocked here, for some reason, we can’t disapparate, there’s some kind of enchantment. We’re running out of options.

DOB
[Slowly waking from an ALCOHOL-INDUCED COMA]
Oh, man, that was a- Oh, for fuck’s sake are you kidding me? What have you morons gotten us into?

HARRY
Thank goodness you’re awake, we’ve got to-

DOB
Yeah, listen, shut up for like 10 seconds, here, it’s a little early for your shit, know what I mean?

HARRY
I apologize.

RON
It’s seven o’clock at night…

DOB
More like… stupid o‘cock at… at all over your face, and there’s… Oh go fuck yourself, Ron, no one’s talking to you.

[HARRY nods in agreement.]

DOB
Alright, I’ll get us out of this. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, let’s think about this. Fuck. We can’t use magic, Hermione’s probably still asleep and incredibly sore, and I broke Dumbledore’s wand for a reason I can’t immediately remember. We’ve got an army of Gollum’s happening right now, I say our only option is feeding them Ron’s gay face and converting the rest of Ron into a boat that we can paddle to shore. Or maybe we’ll just turn him into, like, a puppet or something, whichever’s funnier. That guy’s the worst.

HARRY
We can’t! And those aren’t Gollums, you’re confusing franchises again.

DOB
What? Bullshit those aren’t Gollums. (Addressing the Gollums): Yo, which one of you pygmies wants the precious?

HARRY
I’m telling you, that’s not-

SMEAGOL
I would like the precious…

DOB
Boom! Three pointer. Ron, give those little bastards the precious.

RON
What would that even-

[DOB swiftly pushes RON into the little GOLLUMS, who immediately start clawing at his stupid flesh.]

DOB
Swish! I’m the best.

DAY 17

[HARRY, RON, DOB and some of the other RANDOM INTERCHANGEABLE STUDENTS are discussing women problems.]

RON
It’s so difficult. I know Hermione fancies me, but I just started dating Lavendar, and it would be unfair of her if I abandoned our relationship. But HERMIONE and I are such good friends.

DOB
Uh huh.

HARRY
And I’m in love with Ron’s sister, but I don’t know how she feels about me, and I don’t know what that would do to our friendship.

SOME OTHER KID
My word, these are tricky situations!

DOB
Tell me about it. I heard Ron cries when he poops.

RON
That’s just a rumor, where did you hear it?

DOB
I forget, I think some guy screamed it while he was boning Hermione in my car last night. We’re getting off topic here, the point is Harry’s sad about some bullshit or whatever.

DUMBLEDORE
I know what we need, we need something to take our minds off our girl troubles, and Ron’s unfortunate toilet situation.

RON
It’s not-

DOB
Like a baby, Dr. Wizard, a giant, pooping baby, it’s awful.

DAY 20

[RON, HARRY and DOB are visiting their CREEPY, ELDERLY PROFESSOR SLUGHORN who hands them UNMARKED GLASSES FULL OF SOME LIQUID, and the children all take the drinks, because Hogwarts teaches BULLSHIT DRAGON MAGIC and INVISIBLE BROOM-HUMPING instead of D.A.R.E and COMMON SENSE. RON takes a sip and almost immediately starts stumbling and clutching his throat. He falls to the floor.]

HARRY
Ron! What’s wrong?

RON
[Coughing.]
This… wine is… poison.

HARRY
No!

DOB
Poison?

RON
Yes!

DOB
Deadly?

RON
[A crushed gasp.]
Yes.

DOB
Moving it slow?

RON
[The life draining.]
Yeah… I guess.

DOB
Lookin’ for a mellow fellow like DeVoe?

RON
[Turning blue.]
…what?

HARRY
Not now, DOB. Don’t worry, we’ll save you, Ron. We’ve got to do something, quick!

PROFESSOR SLUGHORN
I’ll call the authorities.

DOB
Let’s cure it ’cause we’re runnin’ outta time!

PROFESSOR SLUGHORN
Yeah, we got it, DOB. It’ll be alright, Ron, we’ll get through this.

HARRY
If I knew what the poison was, I could reverse it!

DOB
Oh, I know!

HARRY
How do you know?

DOB
Me and the crew used to do her! Bam!

HARRY
Oh, Goddammit, shut up, we need to save Ron.

DOB
Eh.

PROFESSOR SLUGHORN
Who could have done this?

HARRY
The one whose name we dare not speak, I’m sure he was behind it.

DOB
I may have an idea.

PROFESSOR SLUGHORN
Or it could’ve been Draco! He’s always had it out for Ron.

HARRY
Oh, fucking Draco, that’s right, it was probably him, too.

DOB
Was it a big butt, Ron? A smile? Did you trust them? Because, really-

PROFESSOR SLUGHORN
He hasn’t much time left!

HARRY
Hang in there, buddy.

DOB
-you should never trust a big butt and a-

HARRY AND SLUGHORN
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

DOB
P-P-P-P-Poison!

280 songs on my PSP

2009-08-20T23:15:00.002+08:00

Out of extreme boredom, thoughts, and request, I listed these out. I'm proud to have a large taste in music...

===================================

1. Decode- Paramore

2. Sultans of Swing- Dire Straits

3. Fire Woman- The Cult

4. Rooftops- Lostprophets

5. Money For Nothing Dire Straits

6. 2 Hearts- Kylie Minogue

7. 4 in the Morning- Gwen Stefani

8. A Dustland Fairytale- The Killers

9. A Hard Day's Night- The Beatles

10. A Thousand Miles- Vanessa Carlton

11. Ace Of Spades- Motorhead

12. Aesthetics of Hate- Machine Head

13. All These Things That I've Done- The Killers

14. Always on My Mind- Elvis Presly

15. Andy You're A Star- The Killers

16. Any Way You Want It- Journey

17. Apologise- Timbaland feat. One Republic

18. Assassin- Myse

19. Bad Reputation- Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

20. Band On The Run- Paul McCartney & Wings

21. Basketcase- Green Day

22. Battery- Metallica

23. Beat It- Michael Jackson

24. Beatiful Disaster- 311

25. Beautiful Maria- Antonio Banderas

26. Beatiful Morning- Machine Head

27. Believe Me Natalie- The Killers

28. Big Girls Don't Cry- Fergie

29. Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve

30. Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis

31. Blue Moon- Sha Na Na

32. Born To Run- Bruce Springsteen

33. Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day

34. Bounce- The Cab

35. Boys, Boys, Boys- Lady Gaga

36. Breathe- Michelle Branch

37. Buddha's Delight- Haley Bennett

38. Burn You Down- Opiate For The Masses

39. Butterflies and Hurricanes- Muse

40. California Dreaming- Mamas & Papas

41. Call Me When You're Sober- Evenescence

42. Can't Buy Me Love- The Beatles

43. Change Your Mind- The Killers

44. Come Out And Play- The Offspring

45. Communication Breakdown- Led Zepplin

46. Cool For Cats- Squeeze

47. Cool- Gwen Stefani

48. Crawling- Linkin Park

49. Creeping Up The Backstairs- The Fratellis

50. CrushCrusCrush- Paramore

51. Dammit- Blink 182

52. Dance Floor Anthem- Good Charlotte

53. Dance With Me Tonight- Hugh Grant

54. Dancing In The Dark- Bruce Springsteen

55. Dancing Queen- ABBA

56. Dare- Gorillaz

57. Diamonds Are Forever- Shirley Bassey

58. Die Another Day- Madonna

59. Dirty Little Secret- All-American Rejects

60. Do It Again- Steely Dan

61. Do You Want To- Franz Ferdinand

62. Don't Stop Believing- Journey

63. Don't Stop Movin'- S Club 7

64. Down- Blink 182

65. Eleanor Rigby- The Beatles

66. Empty- The Click Five

67. Enter Sandman- Metallica

68. Escape- Enrique Iglesias

69. Every Breath You Take- The Police

70. Everybody's Changing- Keane

71. Everything Will Be Alright

72. Exodus- Maksim

73. Eye Of The Tiger- Survivor

74. Fall For You- Secondhand Serenade

75. Feel Good Inc.- Gorillaz

76. Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young- Fire Inc.

77. Float On- Modest Mouse

78. Floorfiller- A*Teens

79. For Whom The Bell Tolls- Metallica

80. Fuel- Metallica

81. Get Back- The Beatles

82. Girl's Not Grey- AFI

83. Give It All- Rise Against

84. Gives You Hell- All-American Rejects

85. Go Your Own Way- Fleetwood Mac

86. Going The Distance- Valentine

87. Gone Away- The Offspring

88. Gonne Fly Now- DeEtta Little

89. Hammerhead- The Offspring

90. Happy Ending- Mika

91. Help!- The Beatles

92. Helter Skelter- The Beatles

93. Hero- Enrique Iglesias

94. Hey Jude- The Beatles

95. Hey There Delilah- Plain White T's

96. Holding Out For A Hero- Bonnie Tyler

97. Holiday- Green Day

98. Hollaback Girl- Gwen Stefani

99. Home Sweet Home- Motley Crue

100. Hot 'N Cold- Katy Perry

101. Hotel California- Eagles

102. How To Save A Life- The Fray

103. How You Love Me Now- Hey Monday

104. Hung Up- Madonna

105. Hungry Like The Wolf- Duran Duran

106. Hysteria- Muse

107. I Am The Walrus- The Beatles

108. I Can't Smile Without You- Barry Manilow

109. I Just Wanna Live- Good Charlotte

110. I Love You Baby- ..

111. I Miss You- Blink 182

112. I Want To Hold Your Hand- The Beatles

113. I Write The Songs- The Beatles

114. I'd Do Anything For Love- Meat Loaf

115. I'm Alive- Celine Deon

116. Image of the Invisible- Thrice

117. Imagine- John Lennon

118. In The End- Linkin Park

119. In Your Eyes- Kylie Minogue

120. Invincible- Muse

121. Island In The Sun- Weezer

122. It's My Life- Bon Jovi

123. Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine- The Killers

124. Just Dance- Lady Gaga

125. Kickstart My Heart- Motley Crue

126. Kiss Kiss- Holly Valance

127. Kiss Me- Sixpence None The Richer

128. Knights of Cydonia- Muse

129. Kusha las Payas- Las Ketchup

130. Lady In Red- Chris De Burgh

131. Lady Madonna- The Beatles

132. Last Resort- Papa Roach

133. Lay All Your Love On Me- ABBA

134. Love At First Sight- Kylie Minogue

135. Mama- Spice Girls

136. Man In The Box- Alice In Chains

137. Mandy- Barry Manilow

138. Master Exploder- Tenacious D

139. Master of Puppets- Metallica

140. Meaningless Kiss- Hugh Grant

141. Midnight Show- The Killers

142. Miss Murder- AFI

143. Monsoon- Tokio Hotel

144. Move Along- All-American Rejects

145. Mr. Brightside- The Killers

146. Mr. Crowley- Ozzy Osbourne

147. My Baby Takes The Morning Train- Sheena Easton

148. My Heart Will Go On- Celine Dion

149. My Life Would Suck Without You- Kelly Clarkson

150. My Own Worst Enemy- Lit

151. Naughty Girl- Holly Valance

152. Never Gonna Give You Up- Rick Astley

153. New Born- Muse

154. No Boundaries- Adam Lambert

155. No Leaf Clover- Metallica

156. No Your Girls- Franz Ferdinand

157. Numb- Linkin Park

158. Objection- Shakira

159. Obstacle 1- Interpol

160. On Top- The Killers

161. One of These Nights- Eagles

162. Our Truth- Lacuna Coil

163. Over The Rainbow- Israel Kamakawiwo

164. Painkiller- Judas Priest

165. Panic Attack- Dream Theater

166. Paparazzi- Lady Gaga

167. Parabola- Tool

168. PDA- Interpol

169. Peace Sells- Megadeth

170. Pearl Harbor Theme- Hans Zimmer

171. Points of Authority- Linkin Park

172. Pokerface- Lady Gaga

173. Pop! Goes My Heart- Hugh Grant

174. Pork and Beans- Weezer

175. Pull Me Under- Dream Theater

176. Push It To The Limit- Paul Engemann

177. Re-Education Through Labor- Rise Against

178. Reach- S Club 7

179. Rebel Yell- Billy Idol

180. Rob The Prez-O-Dent- That Handsome Devil

181. Rock You Like A Hurricane- Scorpions

182. Rocky Mountain High- John Denver

183. Round and Round- Ratt

184. S Club Party- S Club 7

185. S.O.S.- ABBA

186. Saints of Los Angeles- Motley Crue

187. Save Me- Remy Zero

188. Savior- Rise Against

189. School of Rock- School of Rock

190. Secret Garden- Bruce Springsteen

191. See You Again- Miley Cyrus

192. Seek & Destroy- Metallica

193. Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes

194. She Loves You- The Beatles

195. She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5

196. She's a Genius- Jet

197. Since I Don't Have You- Guns N' Roses

198. Slither- Velvet Revolver

199. Smile Like You Mean It- The Killers

200. Smooth Operator- Sade

201. So Close- Jon McLaughlin

202. So What'cha Want- Beastie Boys

203. So What- Pink

204. Somebody Told Me- The Killers

205. Someday- The Strokes

206. Sorry- Madonna

207. Spaceman- The Killers

208. Spiderwebs- No Doubt

209. Stand By Me- Ben E. King

210. Starlight- Muse

211. Staying Alive- Bee Gees

212. Stella Was A Diver And She Was Always Down- Interpol

213. Stranger- Hilary Duff

214. Strutter- KISS

215. Stuck- Stacie Orrico

216. Suspicious Minds- Elvis Presley

217. Sway- Michael Buble

218. Sweet Child O' Mine- Guns N' Roses

219. Sweet Victory- David Eisley & Bob Kulick

220. Chop Suey- System of a Down

221. Take Me Home Country Roads- John Denver

222. Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand

223. Teenagers- My Chemical Romance

224. Temperature- Sean Paul

225. That's What You Get- Paramore

226. The Ballad Of Michael Valentine- The Killers

227. The Bitter End- Placebo

228. The Final Countdown- Europe

229. The Kids Aren't Alright- The Offsrping

230. The Kill- 30 Seconds To Mars

231. The Lion Sleeps Tonight- The Tokens

232. The Loco-Motion- Kylie Minogue

233. The Potential Break Up Song- Aly & AJ

234. The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg- Iron Maiden

235. The Rock Show- Blink 182

236. The Scientist- Coldplay

237. There She Goes- Sixpence None The Richer

238. There's Gotta Be More To Life- Stacie Orrico

239. This Love- Maroon 5

240. This Magic Moment- The Drifters

241. Those Magic Changes- Sha Na Na

242. Time Is Running Out- Muse

243. Torn- Natalie Imbruglia

244. Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler

245. Toxicity- System of a Down

246. Track 7- Sigur Ros

247. Training Montage- Rocky IV Soundtrack

248. Tripping- Robbie Williams

249. Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden

250. Turn Turn Turn- The Byrds

251. Twist and Shout- The Beatles

252. Unchained Melody- Rightous Brothers

253. Under The Gun- The Killers

254. Untouched- The Veronicas

255. Uptown Girl- Billy Joel

256. VinterNoll2- Kent

257. Violent Pornography- System of a Down

258. Viva La Vida- Coldplay

259. Wake Up- Hilary Duff

260. Walk On- U2

261. Way Back Into Love- Hugh Grant & Haley Bennett

262. What A Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong

263. When You Say Nothing At All- Ronan Keating

264. When You Were Young- The Killers

265. Whenever, Wherever- Shakira

266. Wherever You Will Go- The Calling

267. White Rabbit- Jefferson Airplane

268. White Wedding- Billy Idol

269. Who Let You Go- The Killers

270. Why Don't You Find Out- The Killers

271. Wild Slide- Motley Crue

272. Wind of Change- Scorpions

273. Won't Go Home Without You- Maroon 5

274. Yellow Submarine- The Beatles

275. You and Me- Lifehouse

276. You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift

277. You Only Live Once- The Strokes

278. You'll Be In My Heart- Phil Collins

279. You're All I Need- Motley Crue

280. Your Call- Secondhand Serenade

END

Awakening...

2009-05-16T18:12:00.007+08:00

FOREWORD:-
Some stuff to say about the story. Sorry for it being delayed, I didn't have any ideas for it. Now I'm just gonna randomly nit-pick some cliches and input them in. =]
Oh well, enjoy...

==============================================

3rd July, 1973
2230 Hours

"Allison, what time are you gonna go back?" said Kristen
"Hell, anytime a guy takes me back to his bed, that's for sure. But honestly, I think I'm gonna go back at 2 this year. It's been fun with James and all but..."
"He cheated, again?"
Allison just kept quiet. "Hey, let's just enjoy this beer, aite? Cheers..."
"Cheers..."

Little do they know, that they're being watched...

"Dude, that chick is SO friggin' hot man!" said Aaron. "Totally!" agreed Carter.
"Guys, you do know that's James' girl right? I mean, remember what happened last time to Jeffrey?" said the wise-ass known as he-who-shall-not-be-named called Mike. Yup, he sucks at chugging while Carter pwns at it. Aaron has the car and skills, so yeah.

And what they STILL don't know is that the whole damn plaza is being watched.
*gazes at plaza with their red burning eyes that can shoot fucking cool laser beams*

"J'ai envie de tourner gai..." said Rakatan.
"Oh fait taire et parlent l'anglais vous ira faire?" replied Sapphiron.
"O' fine fine, ya twit. Wouldn't kill to use a lil' Frenchie here an' there, ay?"
"You are one wild brat, you know that, chap?

Sapphiron and Rakatan, although very different, has been working together for years in the Ordnance Clan. Their goals were to seek and destroy any opposing forces that they come in contact with on their patrolling routes. But this time, they had a special side job....

*to be continued*

One Lonely Night

2009-05-08T22:14:00.003+08:00

FOREWORD:

Haven't blogged in some time, thanks Ima! Anyways, I'm supposed to be putting in dirty stuff into this chapter, but a friend of mine (who has a cute ass, btw) gives me a feeling I should do it next time. Besides, I'm tired after all that cake I ate. *ehem* Let's get started....

=========================================

17th November, 1973
0100 Hours

As the moonlight shone upon Kristen, she started to move quickly and hastily. She was afraid that it might happen like that guy in a gimp suit said would happen. A gust of wind blew her hair and her papers away. She ran around like a headless chicken grabbing them back.

*snap*

Kristen looked up at the old, dumpy, tree above her. *gasp* It was him! After all of her attempts on running away from him, yet, she is still stalked by him! And she can see his hunger of lust within his eyes, just ready to pounce on her. Shocked, Kristen can't move a muscle and is therefore, a sitting duck...

The man tackled Kristen down and....

*to be continued*

Sup?

2009-04-15T10:19:00.002+08:00

Hye Peoples! Umm. . . Just so you know. . . I'm not Arief. So, yea. I'm Ima, a friend of Arief. . . And i'm mindlessly blogging at his blog because he is too lazy to type anything here. So. . . Pfft. Anyhoo, yea. Considering this is dear Arief's blog, i ain't gonna put much here. Because. . . Well. . . Its a guy's blog! The only reason he made one is coz he got the idea from me! Pfft. Aite. Damage control time.
Arief is currently single. Yes he is girls! Though he is mostly interested in Chinese Girls. Heyh. Its not racist, kayh! We don't do that kind of shite. He is also a nerd. Yes he is. I guess he's mostly dedicated to his PS3 or whatever guys like. Owh. And most importantly. . . He is a goddamn pervert! But heyh. Thats what i love about my friend. LOLZ. So. . . I guess thats it. Hope you like this Arief! Enjoy! *wink*
[= [= [= [= [= [= [=

Form For Any Person You Hate...

2009-04-09T17:04:00.002+08:00

FOREWORD

Print it out and just send it to any person you hate.

=D

Please tick the boxes with an 'X' on the following things you want to describe on someone

===========================

Dear,

[_] Inferior being
[_] Worthless being
[_] Douche
[_] h4x0rz
[_] Wanker
[_] Guy who touches himself
[_] n00blet
[_] Pile of n00b
[_] Ye who hath incurred mine wrath
[_] Person with the grammar of a chimpanzee
[_] Asshat
[_] l00zerx
[_] Ass digger
[_] Ass licker
[_] Bunghole
[_] Anal worshipper
[_] Dillhole
[_] Cock sucker
[_] Lulz cow
[_] Other (Please specify)

You are being flamed because:

[_] You exist
[_] You posted an accusation with no proof
[_] You posted a thread containing 1337 talk
[_] You posted a me > u thread
[_] You broke our Captain Planet summons
[_] You posted a worthless thread
[_] You continued a long, stupid thread
[_] You committed crimes against pork biproducts
[_] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[_] You haven't read the TOS
[_] You made baby Jesus cry
[_] You touch yourself at night
[_] You molest your own father
[_] You insulted the power of the Force
[_] You insulted the power of Chuck Norris
[_] You whine too much
[_] You bitch alot
[_] You don't know which board to post in
[_] You just plain suck
[_] You posted false information
[_] You posted something totally uninteresting
[_] You double posted
[_] You killed a kitten
[_] You murdered a kitten
[_] You double posted false, totally uninteresting information while killing a kitten
[_] You're spamming MY thread
[_] YOU POSTED A MESSAGE ALL WRITTEN IN CAPS
[_] You posted racist crap
[_] You ARE racist crap
[_] You are crap
[_] I don't like your tone of voice
[_] You are not civilized enough to post in these forums
[_] Yuo mispeled evry sengle wurd.
[_] u use 2 much txt tlk
[_] You and your wife are related
[_] You dated my sister
[_] You dated my brother
[_] You made love to my dog
[_] You made love to my dog while dating my brother and/or sister
[_] You insulted the power of Fwee
[_] You're breathing too much of my Oxygen
[_] You disturb my awesomeness
[_] u iz h4x0rz
[_] Other (please Specify)

In punishment, you must:
[_] Give up your new user account
[_] Cease and desist all asshattery, idiocy, and stupidity at once
[_] Shut up and get the hell out
[_] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[_] Actually post something relevant
[_] Read the ****ing TOS
[_] Read the ****ing TOS again
[_] Call Barack Obama and inform him he sucks
[_] Call Chuck Norris and inform him he sucks
[_] Lick a frozen telephone pole
[_] Reach over 9000
[_] Stand in the corner
[_] Sit in the corner wearing a 'Douche' cone hat
[_] Touch yo' mama and say she got the smoothest boobs ever to your dad
[_] Dip your sack in water and then stick it to a frozen telephone pole
[_] Go to your room with no supper
[_] Steal Kirby's steal-proof cake
[_] Apologize to everybody on this forum
[_] Go stand in the middle of a Highway
[_] Recite the Greek alphabet backwards
[_] Boil yourself and be fed to Kirby
[_] Take a bath in bleach
[_] Drink out of a spitoon
[_] Kiss my ass
[_] Bum-puck a dolphin
[_] Help a Blue Whale masturbate
[_] Bring pleasure to a gay monkey and/or lion
[_] Eat my ass
[_] Eat my shorts
[_] Grind a rail on your sack
[_] Get off of my internets
[_] All of the above
[_] All of the above at once
[_] All of the above again
[_] Other (Please specify)

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

[_] Fwee
[_] Pweef
[_] Rawr
[_] Go die
[_] I r winar
[_] 1 R 1337
[_] lolpwnt
[_] GG no re
[_] Bite me
[_] i Iz t3h 0wnAg3!11!
[_] Get a life
[_] Me > you
[_] Me > a piece of rock > you
[_] Never post again
[_] I pity your dog
[_] post moar cowbell plz
[_] NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
[_] NOBODY EXPECTS JINJO
[_] n00b
[_] Go to hell
[_] Your IQ must be 7
[_] Take your **** somewhere else
[_] shut up and get the hell out
[_] You suck again
[_] *fkees*
[_] Learn to post or get the hell out
[_] i (an haz moar cowb3ll and r00t b33r plz?
[_] Go jump into some industrial equipment
[_] Quit your whining and bake me some ham
[_] kthxbai
[_] lrn2read
[_] DO A BARREL ROLL
[_] :U
[_] OWNED!
[_] PWNED!
[_] OWNED! OWNED!
[_] OWNED! PWNED!
[_] All of the above
[_] Other (Please specify)

Signed:

[_] The commitee for a dumbass-free GFAQs.
[_] The Spanish Inquisition
[_] The French Martyr Society
[_] The Italian Spaghetti cooks
[_] Your mom
[_] Your brain
[_] Jesus
[_] That annoying fat guy from Borat
[_] Baby Jesus
[_] The awesomeness that is, Me
[_] BATMAN!
[_] Hannah Friggin' Montana
[_] Your grandma
[_] Barack Obama
[_] McCain
[_] A lolcat
[_] Hilary Clinton
[_] President Schwarzenegger
[_] Vice President Lennon
[_] C.E.O. of Jonas Brothers Gay Toys
[_] Chuck Norris
[_] Space Alienz
[_] Space Alienz from Mars
[_] A member of Happy Tree Friends
[_] United States of l33tz
[_] The Catholic Church
[_] Willy Wonka
[_] Captain Crunch
[_] Me, you stupid
[_] All of the above
[_] Other (Please specify)

Suggestions? I THINK NOT! What was that? You were what?! z0mG!1!

2009-03-26T18:34:00.004+08:00

FOREWORD-

This is random crap, so don't read it if you have no sense of humor.

=============================

What is it Ben? You want me to use the Force? z0mG!1

,___,
[ÒoÓ]
/)__) NO WAI!!!
-"--"-

ya rly

And now, our special guest, Billy the Goat, from The Robby Ray Hound Show!

Billy: *bleats*
Host: So Billy, how's your ass?
Billy: *bleats painfully*
Host: I'm sure it is, boy. Now tell us something about life, Billy.
Billy: *stands up in two legs while speaking in a deep voice* yo wanna noe hows life lyke, bitch? bend down n den we....start........FRUCKIN'!!!!!!!!

..

War.....has changed....
z0mGSoldierz r bringin teh ipodz!1! !1
can i haz ipod?
no u canot haz ipod
y?
cuz u sux!!!!!!!!!!!!lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sad face*

So, we're going to school in a few minutes...
Yeah, we'll meet up there, eh guys?
Sure...
Yup, no problem for me...
Good.....

*pause*

GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!!

*rides Billy's to school*

k, nao w00t?
i dun noe, haz cookiz?
*grabs cookie*
*breaks cookie in half*
midoinitrite?
ya ur doin it rite
kthxbai

ceiling cat? iz u up ther? can i haz cheezburger? amenthxbai

One day, one fine boy turned out to be a man when he screwed his teacher. The boy was just 9 and the teacher was a hotbabeezzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!lol!!!!!!!!! kind of teacher. I wish my teacher was a hot chick that gets horny all the time.

So at my sister's birthday party at Q-Dees, the Pinata was Elmo. And I enjoyed beating the crap outta his broken bits. No kidding....

Charmaine is the best 4 year old I ever met. Ryan, you still babble like a baby, only thing I understood was rubbish when you asked me to throw it away. Nicholas, you have been a bad boy...
*pulls out whip*
Do your stuff now, Zorro...
Ahah, let's not forget Sydnee, one who started it all. Because of this little kid, I get called Uncle Koko, why I do not know why she would call me Uncle-Brother. Yup, Koko is brother is Chinese...
OMG! Haris! Stop biting people for goodness sake! And Hadith, you too! Especially since we only feel wet when you bite cause you have no friggin' teeth! Haris and Hadith are 5 year-olds, darn bastards.

WE. ARE. FA. MI. LY!

Dun, dun, dun dun.....DUN!

Touching your niece's booby!

Dun, dun, dun dun.....DUN!

Now who wants but seckz nao? o_O
o.O
lulzw00t?
What? What did I say that was wrong? m i not smexy enough 4 u guyzzzz????

Ok, now we attack from North-East, then exceed into striking at 7. Clear?
Clear, sir!
Now, any questions?
*lifts arm*
I SAID NO QUESTIONS!
*gets shots*
Now, any more questions??
C'mon now, don't be shy...
*lifts arm slightly*
*gets sliced in half from below*
Ok, now if you all don't mind, what say we all just go and ge-
*interrupts* ALRIGHT CHUMPS LET'S DO THIS! LEEEEROOOYY!!!! JEEEEENKIIIIINNNNNSSSS!!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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. BOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!! .
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kthxbai

z0mG!1 i haz bl0gg3rz!1!1!

2009-03-20T20:59:00.000+08:00

FOREWORD:-

Yes, apparently, I like doing that, so get used to it sometimes. First time using this thingy, but not my first time blogging. And I'm color blind, so don't expect me to use colorful stuff and words.
Now, here you will see some, ok, a lot, of Chuck Norris facts. Enjoy...

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We don't know if Chuck Norris enjoys a good fight. He's never had one.

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.

Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.

Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.

Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

Chuck Norris' IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green 4 card from the game Uno.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take **** from anyone.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never ****s up.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.

Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Jeep.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the **** out of the way.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park.
Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.

When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the **** Chuck Norris is.

Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better ****ing do what Chuck Norris says.

In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes.

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris used to beat the **** out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his *****.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a ***** would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.